i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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