So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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