even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
