it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
