If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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