he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
