Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
