chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
