Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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