Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring