Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.