he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
