I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
