It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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