Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize