I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you win again, gameday.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
His nipple licking is glorious
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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