theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
