Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If I die, sorry about rent.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
