areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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