Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
