Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
