Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
