I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
