he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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