my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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