Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
