I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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