i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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