oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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