just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
