Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
