Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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