? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
