Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
