If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
