went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize