Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize