That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
