This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
