Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back