Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free

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(302): View more from Delaware

Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house

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(207): View more from Maine

do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later

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These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Read it at the TFLN blog
(301): View more from Maryland

All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands

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(540): View more from Virginia

i really wish james franco would like my vagina

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(716): View more from New York

you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do

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(408): View more from California

I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷

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