so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.