so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.