D3 body, D1 cock
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow