Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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