i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize