didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I will die if light touches me.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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