they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She's the barista slut.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
