If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize