Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
