This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
