how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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