i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
