There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
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They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door