I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
