my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Four minutes until I can fart!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
