did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
