He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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