he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
