The maid of honor just puked.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
