God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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